The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

Dear Friend

I can’t believe I’m almost done with my first year at varsity and that you’re almost finished matric. Scary how time flies but then again thanks to the work load and the recurring late nights (and no it’s not always due to partying) I’m actually glad this year’s almost over! I can’t wait to see my family and have a good home cooked meal again. The whole “surprise” factor about the food in the dining hall is starting to wear really thin and I’m beginning to worry about the meat dishes as there seem to be less and less donkey carts around, but at least today I got a good plate of food as everything was covered in a thick sauce so I couldn’t see what I was eating.

Anyway, besides developing my immune system, my driving lessons are going well thanks. I haven’t crashed, had a fit of road rage or mowed anyone down which is saying quite a lot for a female driver from Joburg don’t you think? My instructor is a young guy who reminds me of The Grinch out of a Dr Seuss novel but despite being in need of a shave and maybe a haircut, he’s pleasant and confident I’ll pass my drivers. It’s a lot easier taking driving lessons in Grahamstown than in Joburg although the rate of knocking over a pedestrian is rather high at the moment thanks to the R10 draught specials at the local pub every week.

The prices for driving lessons are quiet heavy for a student budget but if you ask your mobile ATM aka your dad I’m sure it won’t be a problem. Good luck for the upcoming matric exams and I look forward to seeing you next year.

Lots of love and hugs

Alex

x(“,)x

P.S. Maths is rather challenging but if in doubt just say the answer is x as x can equal anything.

The Homesickness Beastie

My dearest Funky Chicken
How are you my crazy friend? I am so excited that you are coming here next year! We are going to have so much fun together!
Varsity is great, but one would imagine that after spending two years overseas, homesickness was a thing of the past. Not so for me though. After the initial excitement of orientation week, Grahamstown partying, meeting new friends, choosing new subjects, new everything actually, the homesickness beastie bit me on the bum!
Imagine my surprise when at the most inopportune moments I would start missing my insufferably grumpy mom. I’m sure you remember how she can be: perfectly docile and seemingly harmless, and then unexpectedly the tornado hits and chaos breaks loose, and you find yourself running for your life.
Other days I would crave a cuddly hug from my hairy dad.
I even missed wrestling around on the floor with my smelly “little” brother, something I didn’t’ get to do much whilst I was overseas, yet now that I’m here I miss it a lot!
After moping around for a while with my lip dragging on the ground I decided to take action and fight this beastie that was constantly lurking behind me, taking sharp nips at my behind at the most inappropriate times!
Getting involved in everything I possibly could was the best solution I could think of. The busier you are, the less time you have to think about missing your family and their strange quirks. So I started participating more actively in all those wonderful societies they persuaded me to sign up for at the beginning of the year. I volunteered myself to help out with functions and go on outings wherever possible and threw myself into making more friends with great zest.
Slowly but surely all this running around and socialising eventually tired the homesickness beastie out and he could no longer keep up with me, and left my rather tender bottom alone at last!
There you have it, how to fight off a homesickness beastie! I can’t wait to hear from you!
All my love
Gabi

Letter to my younger self

Dearest Tarryn

I know that you have had a tough first year at university and at times have seriously wondered if you are doing the right thing and should even be at university. I understand what you are going through and as your much older and therefore wiser self I would like to offer you some advice.

In this the fourth term, especially, I know that you are doubting whether you will be able to keep this all up for three more years. You are thinking “gees that is a long time” and that the end seems so far away. Yes life in Grahamstown is a bubble and yes you will get bored with studying and at times want to drop out to go travel again. I will not lie and tell you that these things will change or that when your sister calls from London or Spain or whichever country she finds herself in that you will not feel jealous that she is out living life while you are stuck swimming round and round the fishbowl that has become your life.

What I can do is say that the end of your studying will come and you will survive. As with everything that has been thrown your way so far you can handle it if you try. In three years time you will be able to reap the rewards of sticking it out and you will be amazed at the things that you will do and places you will see. So when you get disheartened and all you want to do is escape, take a deep breath and remember that it will all be worth it in the end. Trust me I am of course the wiser version of you.

There is an ocean out there waiting to be explored by you and take it from me you don’t want to miss out on your chance.

Wishing you strength and patience.

All my love

x Tarryn

The Rhode not taken...

Dear Eager-Beaver-High
Who would have thought those five years of intensive training and planning for the future would land up like this, me in varsity and you locked up someone never to be found again. I remember us like military soldiers making a pact that we would never allow ourselves to be subsided into peer pressure, well look at me now, head low and shoulders shrugged, upper posture gone astray. A sense of fear clouds upon me as I trace back to your innocent and see the dismay in your eyes. I have lost touch with what I used to be and the gap between us matures, varsity has brought about several disruptions to the plans that we had set aside for us, academically as well as socially. Firstly finding friends was definitely not the same, our good mate from home has done a disappearing act on us at Rhodes, from best friends to worse enemies. We hardly exchange words let along glances, the whole ordeal has left me tangled in friendships where my voice became mute, experimenting with intoxicating substances like Stroh Rum which leaves the body all fired up, this seemed better than sitting alone in my bland room, reminiscing over the bubbly days spent together where being with friends was all the fun I needed. You probably reading this and shaking your head in disapproval but I also do not favor the person I have become.
I warn you Eager-Beaver-High, about underestimating Rhodes.It may seem like an isolated island but the people which you encounter can turn it into the fast life of the golden city, Johannesburg, trend careful and look out for that good mate from home. She has shown me another side to life, never depends on a person too much.
I trust you will read this and have an open mind when coming to university in the future and select your friendships wisely. My change is the reason for our drift; you may not agree that this change has brought good into my life, however now I know myself better than before. Soldier sign off
Realistic-Varsity-Beaver

"To thine own self be true..."

To my other half,

I hope that all your preparations for the next year at university are going well and you are ready for some of the best times of your life.
You are now entering a world where you will be given the freedom to redefine what you believe in and the opportunity to become a new person. And this is both thrilling and nerve wracking. During the course of the next year you are going to be bombarded with things that will challenge who you are and you’ll be tempted to go along with it because it seems the easiest way to make new friends.
I know this because in my first term I was in awe of the interesting people I was meeting and I wanted to friends with them. I was never really the clubbing and drinking type in High School but in trying to maintain the friendships I’d formed, I became that girl. And to be honest, it was fun being her. But the girl I’d become wasn’t the girl I was. And deep inside I didn’t like this ‘new’ me.
More and more I started to see the monotony in the pre-drinking, Union and Friars lifestyle and it bored me. So instead, I began to stay in more, preferring to watch movies alone than deal with pushy crowds and boisterous drunks. And though it was lonely for a time, I felt happier within myself. And gradually I became friends with people who would rather go for a quiet drink than a bender Wednesday night at the Union.
I encourage you to experiment with new things and people that Rhodes provides because else you’ll never really what does and doesn’t suit you. But hold on tight to your values and morals that have made who you are now because they’ll help shape how you embrace the Rhodes culture.
All the best for the next year and I know you’ll have the time of your life.

All my love,

Sarah